On the first day of Smutmas, Santa brought to me . . . Outcast Orphans and Bad Boys with Hearts of Gold - a review of Alina Jacobs' Elf Against the Wall

Good Elf Gone Wrong, which introduced us to the Wynter Brothers, was the first Alina Jacobs book I happened upon when I was looking for a lil’ literary Christmas escape last year. The saucy ridiculousness of Gracie and Hudson's (mis?)adventures in fake dating, or fake fornicating, as is more in keeping with their charade, hooked me. The inner fat kid in me wanted more, more, more - so I went down the rabbit hole and consumed the whole of Jacobs' catalog in a disturbingly short amount of time. (We’re talking mere weeks here.) Needless to say, I was excited to see where she would take us with her second installation, younger brother Anderson's story, though the ostensible absence of Pugnog (Gracie's bug-eyed pug, looking at you even if you’re not looking at me, Pugnog) was something I wasn't looking forward to.

Fortunately, Jacobs gives us Snowball, perhaps my new favorite bookish pup, as well as Evie Murphy, an orphan (how Dickensian!) with a history of making bad choices, and her not-so-merry band of misfit family members. It's hard to read this sequel and not compare Anderson and Evie to older brother Hudson and his love interest Gracie, obviously, but it took me a while to warm to Elf Against the Wall’s bad boy. Don't get me wrong, enemies to lovers is my favorite trope (I’ve proudly Cricut-ed more than one V-neck that proclaims this) and Jacobs had me at Evie's promise - upon finding the dishonorably discharged Vet breaking into her father’s home office - of "mutually assured destruction". That said, Anderson wearing his moniker of asshole like a badge of honor was a little much for me, especially given that we know he's going to show his heart of gold in due course. Granted he's given the backstory of being convicted of trying to murder Henry Murphy, war hero, golden boy, and just one of Gracie's far-superior siblings, but he's almost too bad for the first half of the novel to make the reader swoon.

And, damn it, I always want to swoon. 

However, Jacobs definitely fulfills her readers' expectations: trials and tribulations, misunderstandings, light blackmail, heavy petting (and her trademark spicy sex scenes that bring both heat and laughter and a severe questioning of everything I know about physics and biology), breakups, and, finally, makeups. What I was most surprised to enjoy was the sibling rivalry turned lovefest at the zero hour of the denouement. 

There was definite willing suspension of disbelief as the beloved children of Evie's messed-up family turned on a dime to defend this outcast orphan, but I loved the Murphy children's dynamic at the end of the novel (as I did Anderson's Wynter clan, but I was already all in on them after Good Elf). Gorgeous, genius, ginger triplets would, as they should, turn me off in any other scenario, but damn if I didn’t like these young ladies (whom I’m already imagining in trysts with various Svensson siblings and employees - call me, Alina!) and even the horrible Henry by the end of the story.

If you're a fan of any of Jacobs' other series / families, you've probably already got this on your TBR list. (While the Svensson Brothers have my heart - there are just so many of them! - the Wynters are pulling in a close second in the Jacobs' pantheon.) If you haven't read one of her books yet, this, like the rest, is a stand alone, so you can jump right in if you want to. Do I cringe at some of the OTT snarling, possessive, sexist, and downright Caveman behavior that Anderson exhibits? Does Santa most likely suffer from Type 2 Diabetes?! Sure I do, but it’s par for the course and part of the fun that makes for some steamy and, again, physics-defying sex scenes. (I’ll let you be the judge of the garage’s cement floor and motorcycle encounter since I don’t have the energy to wonder too much about it other than to imagine that bloodied knees must be involved.) 

Who needs science when you’ve got smut, anyway? Elf Against the Wall (you know what you’re getting into with that title) is sure to warm you up on a cold "Wynter" night (let the season of puns begin!), as these lovers and their respective clans will, hopefully, put your own family drama in perspective and have you dreaming of bad boys’ (and their sugar plums, as it were) dancing in your head.

Rating: 4.5 / 5 Golden (you know what kind) Rings